


Joe-Fig-ing

by KyraEllis



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 22:18:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8031034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyraEllis/pseuds/KyraEllis
Summary: Just some dirty smut between Fig and Joe Caputo.





	Joe-Fig-ing

"You need my help Joe," said Fig the minute she opened the door holding a glass of red in her long-clawed fingernails.

"That's not why I'm here," said Joe. But of course it was. Why else would he have shown up at her door in the middle of a random Tuesday. He already had the hots for her, even just standing here on her porch and admiring her figure through that silk robe thing she had on. Damn, it was almost like the lady could tell when he was coming. She was like fucking demon from every guy's wet dream.

"Come on in," she said, with a slight slur and a wave of her hand. Joe realized she was most likely a little tipsy, but chose not to wonder about the kinds of drama that had to be going on in her life to encourage midday drinking patterns. He was so busy admiring her ass on the way in that he half-stumbled over the front mat. He recovered and shut the door behind him.

 _Be smooth,_ he thought to himself. _Ladies like men who are smooth._ He straightened his tie and cleared his throat a little.

"Fig, I mean, Natalie," he said. "I would like to fuck you right now." Fig raised a recently threaded eyebrow. _Fuck fuck fuck._ That was definitely _not_ what he had intended to say. Maybe the glass of burgundy he'd had before traipsing over here had affected him more than he thought. He colored deep red, and felt instant heat slosh to the top of his head like a wave. "Sorry," Joe said. "I'm so sorry. Look can I just sit down for a minute. I think I need to sit down."

"Yeah you do," replied Natalie. She was appraising him in-between sips of wine. The glass was already half empty compared to what it had been when she first opened the door. "I think I need to sit down too. In fact, let's sit down in the bedroom. That's what you really want, isn't it Joe? You said so yourself just a minute ago."

He was about ready to hang his head in shame. So much of his body was screaming at him to turn around and get the hell out of here, and away from this toxic woman. But there was always that other, stronger part in the nether regions that inevitably won out. He followed her down the hallway and tried to keep his crotch from showing too much or his brain from overthinking what he wanted.


End file.
